You can understand why the Australians aren't keen to let in those=20 asylum-seekers crammed on that boat in the Pacific. After all, there's = hardly=20 any room left in Australia, is there? If they carried on letting people = in at=20 that rate, within a millennium or two they'd be down to their last half = a dozen=20 deserts.

And you can see why a nation with a proud history like Australia = would find=20 it strange that anyone would want to leave the country they were brought = up in=20 to go somewhere where there was already a native population. And for all = the=20 Australians know, some of those trying to get in have got criminal = records. You=20 can't build a nation from stock like that!

And it's quite possible the people hoping to claim asylum are = planning to=20 sponge off the state. Because their behaviour up to now displays a = classic sign=20 of laziness and wanting everything on a plate. Anyone who's ever = interviewed=20 people for a job knows that if someone has got to the interview by = escaping from=20 a tyrannical regime, squeezing onto a fishing boat and bobbling across = the=20 Pacific, he'll be the type who is never prepared to put in any = effort.

Somehow, the authorities concerned are already discussing how those = who are=20 "genuine" refugees will be treated differently from the "economic = migrants".=20 Which suggests that some of them are not genuine, but simply trying to = better=20 themselves, in the same way someone might do a course in computers to = get a=20 better job in the office. They sit in their Afghan gardens, looking at = the=20 brochures, and say to the wife: "Hmm, there's something here that would = ease our=20 financial burden. It would mean going short for a few weeks, while we = drift=20 through shark-infested seas on a rickety trawler held together with = staples=20 surrounded by our own shit and vomit and groaning from dysentery, but = the extra=20 90 quid a month wouldn't 'alf come in handy."

To which she'll reply "I'm sure you're right, dear" =96 as anything = else would=20 render her liable to be stoned to death for being too lippy.

But the tone of the Australians is similar to that of most Western = countries.=20 The British Government has just decided to maintain the system that = denies cash=20 benefits to asylum-seekers, granting them vouchers instead because, as=20 yesterday's Daily Mail gleefully reported, "scrapping vouchers = would=20 encourage more asylum-seekers".

Because once word got round in Kabul that refugees were entitled to = cash,=20 Britain would seem like a game show beaming at you to come on and try to = win 56=20 whole pounds. Afghans would be running through the mosque gulping vodka = and=20 baring their arses in the hope that the Taliban might chop off an arm so = that=20 they could cling to the bottom of a Eurostar train with their remaining = fingers=20 and frolic amid the nightlife of Margate.

Now they are taking seriously the call to deny jobs to foreigners who = can't=20 speak English, an idea first mooted by Labour MP Ann Cryer. Just as the = English=20 never fail to master our hosts' language before we set foot in another = country.=20 If a group of English tourists are in Rome and one of the party, having = listened=20 to an Italian speaking fluent English, says "Oh well, arriva derci = then", the=20 others will say: "Oooo, aren't you clever? Where did you pick that = up?"

The language test would be fair enough, if they were allowed to = employ=20 English methods of speaking to foreigners. Then asylum-seekers could go = up to a=20 stranger in Canterbury and yell "Which way is the Post Office? I said = WHICH WAY=20 IS THE POST OFFICE? THE POST OFFICE. YOU KNOW, THE POST OFFICE, PO-ST-OF = -ICE."=20 And all in fluent Arabic.

Then they would have to throw their arms in the air and tut loudly = before=20 miming licking a stamp, and finally declare that this old dear was = obviously=20 typical as she didn't speak a word of bloody Arabic.

For the English could be in the middle of the rainforest in Borneo, = come=20 across a remote ancient tribe sitting in a clearing and ask: "Excuse me = mate,=20 you don't happen to know if there's a cashpoint anywhere round here, is=20 there?"

Like the reaction to the poor sods on board that boat, there is a = complete=20 lack of logic in the language theory. It's not that all those who = support it are=20 racist, but they surrender to the racists. So now Britain gets rebuked = on almost=20 a weekly basis by bodies such as the United Nations for breaking = international=20 laws and standards on refugees. But the Government behaves like the hard = kid=20 returning from a caning in the headmaster's office, proudly smirking = that his=20 beating proves his toughness.

Then, however draconian their plan, they claim that it's to ensure = healthy=20 race relations. You can't help thinking that if the current leaders of = Western=20 governments had been in charge of Nazi Germany, they'd have made a = statement=20 that went: "There's nothing anti-Semitic about our plans. We're only = gassing=20 these ones to allay the fears of the German people, and to ensure a = healthy=20 prosperous climate for the genuine Jews that are left."

Also from the Mark Steel section

Mark=20 Steel: Press four if you want to register your abusive opinion
Mark=20 Steel: It is time to name and shame Leonardo da Vinci
Mark=20 Steel: Heard the one about the comedian and the moralist?
Mark=20 Steel: The Nation of Islam may be based on a Chris Morris = prank
Mark=20 Steel: I've no time for these hooligans who go around being=20 killed

3D""

Return=20 to top

Search this site:=20 Have a question?=20 Ask Jeeves!=20

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BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff; BORDER-BOTTOM: #000000 1px solid; = BORDER-LEFT: #000000 0px solid; BORDER-RIGHT: #000000 1px solid; = BORDER-TOP: #000000 0px solid; MARGIN: 0px 0px 3px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; = PADDING-LEFT: 5px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px } .toolbox { BACKGROUND-COLOR: #cccccc; BORDER-BOTTOM: #000000 1px solid; = BORDER-LEFT: #000000 0px solid; BORDER-RIGHT: #000000 1px solid; = BORDER-TOP: #000000 0px solid; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; = PADDING-LEFT: 15px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px } DIV { FONT-FAMILY: Arial, helvetica, sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: small } TD { FONT-FAMILY: Arial, helvetica, sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: small } P { FONT-FAMILY: Arial, helvetica, sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: small } LI { FONT-FAMILY: Arial, helvetica, sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: small } A { COLOR: #0000b8; FONT-FAMILY: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; = TEXT-DECORATION: none } A:hover { COLOR: #cc0000; TEXT-DECORATION: underline } A:visited { COLOR: #666666 } H1 { FONT-FAMILY: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: 160% } H2 { FONT-FAMILY: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: 120% } H3 { FONT-FAMILY: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: 110% } H4 { FONT-FAMILY: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: 100% } B { FONT-WEIGHT: bold } .bold { FONT-WEIGHT: bold } .floatbox { FLOAT: right; WIDTH: 165px } .linkbox { BACKGROUND: #eaeaea; FONT-SIZE: 90%; PADDING-BOTTOM: 5px; WIDTH: 165px } .linkindent { FONT-SIZE: 90%; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 2px; MARGIN-TOP: 2px; PADDING-BOTTOM: = 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 15px; PADDING-RIGHT: 5px; PADDING-TOP: 4px; = TEXT-INDENT: -7px } .padleft { PADDING-LEFT: 10px } LI { MARGIN-LEFT: -20px } UL { MARGIN-TOP: 0px } .nomargin { MARGIN: 0px } .searchbg { BACKGROUND-COLOR: #d8d8d8; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 5px; = PADDING-LEFT: 5px; PADDING-RIGHT: 5px; PADDING-TOP: 5px } .searchinput { WIDTH: 200px } .searchbox { FONT-FAMILY: Arial, helvetica, sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: 11px; = MARGIN-BOTTOM: 4px; MARGIN-TOP: -15px } INPUT.box { BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff; FONT-FAMILY: Arial, helvetica, sans-serif; = FONT-SIZE: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px; MARGIN-TOP: 0px; WIDTH: 150px } INPUT.radio { COLOR: #ff0000 } INPUT.pulldown { BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff; FONT-FAMILY: Arial, helvetica, sans-serif; = FONT-SIZE: 10px; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0px; MARGIN-TOP: 0px; WIDTH: 240px } INPUT.button { FONT-FAMILY: Arial, helvetica, sans-serif; FONT-SIZE: 10px; WIDTH: 40px } .lineheight16 { LINE-HEIGHT: 16px } .paddingright { PADDING-RIGHT: 5px } .padding { PADDING-BOTTOM: 5px; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; PADDING-RIGHT: 5px; = PADDING-TOP: 5px } .padding2 { PADDING-BOTTOM: 2px; PADDING-LEFT: 2px; PADDING-RIGHT: 2px; = PADDING-TOP: 2px } .searchbox { MARGIN-BOTTOM: 4px; MARGIN-TOP: 0px } .floatright { FLOAT: right; MARGIN-TOP: -4px; WIDTH: 240px } .floatleft { FLOAT: left; MARGIN-TOP: -4px; WIDTH: 240px } .medium { FONT-SIZE: medium } A.medium A.medium:visited { FONT-SIZE: medium } .large { FONT-SIZE: large } A.large { FONT-SIZE: large } A.large:visited { FONT-SIZE: large } A.larger { FONT-SIZE: larger } A.larger:visited { FONT-SIZE: larger } .smaller { FONT-SIZE: smaller } A.smaller { FONT-SIZE: smaller } A.smaller:visited { FONT-SIZE: smaller } .larger { FONT-SIZE: larger } .enjoymentcolor { COLOR: #999966 } A.enjoymentcolor { COLOR: #999966 } A.enjoymentcolor:visited { COLOR: #999966 } A.enjoymentcolor:hover { COLOR: #999966 } .newscolor { COLOR: #3366cc } A.newscolor { COLOR: #3366cc } A.newscolor:visited { COLOR: #3366cc } A.newscolor:hover { COLOR: #cc0000 } .advancementcolor { COLOR: #000000 } A.advancementcolor { COLOR: #000000 } A.advancementcolor:visited { COLOR: #000000 } A.advancementcolor:hover { COLOR: #cc0000 } .investmentcolor { COLOR: #424242 } A.investmentcolor { COLOR: #424242 } A.investmentcolor:visited { COLOR: #424242 } A.investmentcolor:hover { COLOR: #cc0000 } .argumentcolor { COLOR: #cc0000 } A.argumentcolor { COLOR: #cc0000 } A.argumentcolor:visited { COLOR: #ff0000 } A.argumentcolor:hover { COLOR: #cc0000 } .travelcolor { COLOR: #668a99 } A.travelcolor { COLOR: #668a99 } A.travelcolor:visited { COLOR: #668a99 } A.travelcolor:hover { COLOR: #cc0000 } .white { COLOR: #ffffff } A.white { COLOR: #ffffff } A.white:visited { COLOR: #ffffff } .orange { COLOR: #ff6600 } A.orange { COLOR: #ff6600 } A.orange:visited { COLOR: #ff6600 } .blue { COLOR: #3366cc } A.blue { COLOR: #3366cc } A.blue:visited { COLOR: #3366cc } .green { COLOR: #999966 } A.green { COLOR: #999966 } A.green:visited { COLOR: #999966 } .red { COLOR: #cc0000 } A.red { COLOR: #cc0000 } A.red:visited { COLOR: #cc0000 } .grey { COLOR: #666666 } A.grey { COLOR: #666666 } A.grey:visited { COLOR: #666666 } .black { COLOR: #000000 } A.black { COLOR: #000000 } A.black:visited { COLOR: #000000 } .travel { COLOR: #668a99 } A.travel { COLOR: #668a99 } A.travel:visited { COLOR: #668a99 } .link { COLOR: #0000cc } A.link { COLOR: #0000cc } A.link:visited { COLOR: #0000cc } .independtdigitalbody { BACKGROUND-COLOR: #c5c5c5; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: = url(/images/furniture/bg_style.gif); BACKGROUND-REPEAT: no-repeat } .independentbody { BACKGROUND-COLOR: #8fa7b0; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: = url(/images/furniture/bg_hub.gif); BACKGROUND-REPEAT: no-repeat } .travelbody { BACKGROUND-COLOR: #5c9092; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: = url(/images/furniture/bg_travel.gif); BACKGROUND-REPEAT: no-repeat } .electionbody { BACKGROUND-COLOR: #d1d1d1; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: = url(/images/furniture/bg_election.gif); BACKGROUND-REPEAT: no-repeat } .newsbody { BACKGROUND-COLOR: #2673a6; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: = url(/images/furniture/bg_news.gif); BACKGROUND-REPEAT: no-repeat } .enjoymentbody { BACKGROUND-COLOR: #a0b389; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: = url(/images/furniture/bg_enj.gif); BACKGROUND-REPEAT: no-repeat } .investmentbody { BACKGROUND-COLOR: #667384; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: = url(/images/furniture/bg_inv.gif); BACKGROUND-REPEAT: no-repeat } .argumentbody { BACKGROUND-COLOR: rgb(183,60,60); BACKGROUND-IMAGE: = url(/images/furniture/bg_arg.gif); BACKGROUND-REPEAT: no-repeat } .advancementbody { BACKGROUND-COLOR: #e5bc3e; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: = url(/images/furniture/bg_adv.gif); BACKGROUND-REPEAT: no-repeat } .moneybody { BACKGROUND-COLOR: #667384; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: = url(/images/furniture/bg_money.gif); BACKGROUND-REPEAT: no-repeat } .fixed { COLOR: #000000; FONT-SIZE: 12px; TEXT-DECORATION: none } A.fixed { COLOR: #000000; FONT-SIZE: 12px; TEXT-DECORATION: none } A.fixed:active { COLOR: #000000; TEXT-DECORATION: underline } A.fixed:hover { TEXT-DECORATION: underline } A.fixed:visited { COLOR: #000000 } A.redtool { COLOR: #cc0000; FONT: 12px Arial, helvetica, sans-serif; = TEXT-DECORATION: none } A.redtool:hover { COLOR: #cc0000; FONT: 12px Arial, helvetica, sans-serif; = TEXT-DECORATION: underline } A.redtool:visited { COLOR: #cc0000 } .date { COLOR: #000000; FONT: 10px Arial, helvetica, sans-serif; = TEXT-DECORATION: none } .tool { COLOR: #000000; FONT: 12px Arial, helvetica, sans-serif; = TEXT-DECORATION: none } A.tool { COLOR: #000000; FONT: 12px Arial, helvetica, sans-serif; = TEXT-DECORATION: none } A.smalltool { COLOR: #000000; FONT: 10px Arial, helvetica, sans-serif; = TEXT-DECORATION: none } A.tool:hover { COLOR: #000000; FONT: 12px Arial, helvetica, sans-serif; = TEXT-DECORATION: underline } A.tool:visited { COLOR: #000000 } A.smalltool:visited { COLOR: #000000 } .smallmenu { COLOR: #000000; FONT: 10px Arial, helvetica, sans-serif; = TEXT-DECORATION: none } A.smallmenu { COLOR: #000000; FONT: 10px Arial, helvetica, sans-serif; = TEXT-DECORATION: none } A.smallmenu:hover { COLOR: #000000; FONT: 10px Arial, helvetica, sans-serif; = TEXT-DECORATION: underline } A.smallmenu:visited { COLOR: #000000 } A.smallchannel { COLOR: #000000; FONT: bold 16px Arial, helvetica, sans-serif; = TEXT-DECORATION: none } A.smallchannel:hover { COLOR: #000000; FONT: bold 16px Arial, helvetica, sans-serif; = TEXT-DECORATION: underline } A.smallchannel:visited { COLOR: #000000 } .mouseover { BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffcc00; BORDER-BOTTOM: #000000 1px solid; = BORDER-LEFT: #ffcc00 1px solid; BORDER-RIGHT: #000000 1px solid; = BORDER-TOP: #ffcc00 1px solid; HEIGHT: 190px; LEFT: 693px; OVERFLOW: = hidden; POSITION: absolute; TOP: 10px; WIDTH: 157px; Z-INDEX: 100 } .mouseout { BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffcc00; BORDER-BOTTOM: #000000 1px solid; = BORDER-LEFT: #ffcc00 1px solid; BORDER-RIGHT: #000000 1px solid; = BORDER-TOP: #ffcc00 1px solid; HEIGHT: 60px; LEFT: 693px; OVERFLOW: = hidden; POSITION: absolute; TOP: 10px; WIDTH: 157px; Z-INDEX: 100 } .small_indig_show { BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffcc00; BORDER-BOTTOM: #000000 1px solid; = BORDER-LEFT: #ffcc00 1px solid; BORDER-RIGHT: #000000 1px solid; = BORDER-TOP: #ffcc00 1px solid; HEIGHT: 128px; LEFT: 693px; OVERFLOW: = hidden; POSITION: absolute; TOP: 10px; WIDTH: 157px; Z-INDEX: 100 } .small_indig_hide { BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffcc00; BORDER-BOTTOM: #000000 1px solid; = BORDER-LEFT: #ffcc00 1px solid; BORDER-RIGHT: #000000 1px solid; = BORDER-TOP: #ffcc00 1px solid; HEIGHT: 60px; LEFT: 693px; OVERFLOW: = hidden; POSITION: absolute; TOP: 10px; WIDTH: 157px; Z-INDEX: 100 } ------=_NextPart_000_004D_01C132F5.CB48B280--