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Essendon Wins 16th AFL Flag, Crushes Melbourne By 60 Points

5.30pm – Essendon has won today’s AFL Grand Final, defeating Melboune by 60 points. The final score was Essendon 19-21-135 to Melbourne 11-9-75.

EssendonEssendon has now won 38 of its last 41 matches and equals Carlton’s record of 16 premiership wins. The club has won 4 premierships since 1983.

The easy victory was never in doubt throughout the afternoon, reminiscent of the easy win Labor’s Bob Carr had over the Liberals’ hapless Kerry Chikarovski in NSW last year, or Jeff Kennett’s crushing defeat of Labor’s Joan Kirner in 1992.

Having lost only one game during the 2000 season, Essendon was entitled to be confident about success today. Rarely has a grand final been as certain as this one. Only the Federal election wins of Gough Whitlam in 1972 and Bob Hawke in 1983 have been regarded as certain as this, although in retrospect John Howard’s victory in 1996 was probably sealed in 1993.

  • Listen to the Essendon theme song (2m):
  • Shorter version (30s):

See the Bombers fly up, up!
To win the premiership flag.
Our boys who play this grand old game,
Are always striving for glory and fame!
See the Bombers fly up, up,
The other teams they don’t fear,
They all try their best,
But they can’t get near,
As the Bombers fly up! now reverts to coverage of real news and announces that it will be Olympics-free over the coming weeks…

Earlier Reports:

Bombers Coasting To Easy Victory In Grand Final

5.00pm – At three-quarter time in the AFL Grand Final, Essendon is poised to win its fourth premiership since 1983 under coach Kevin Sheedy. Essendon lead Melbourne by 113 points to 56 points.

Winning the flag will bring Essendon equal with Carlton as the two teams that have won 16 flags each. Collingwood has won 14 premierships. Essendon won the first premiership of the Victorian Football League in 1897.

Throughout the 2000 season, Essendon has won every match it has played except one, a defeat by the Western Bulldogs.

Sheedy has been Essendon’s coach since 1981. Since that time, Bob Hawke won 4 consecutive federal elections, Paul Keating 1 and John Howard 2.

At the State level since 1981 it has become increasingly difficult for governments to secure more than 2 election victories. Whilst Labor’s John Cain (Victoria) and John Bannon (South Australia) each won 3 elections, Jeff Kennett was defeated after 2, Nick Greiner (NSW) nearly lost his second election in 1991 and was forced from office soon after. Queensland Labor Premier Wayne Goss won two elections, but was reduced to a one-seat majority after the 1995 state election and lost that several months later in a by-election. Joh Bjelke-Petersen ruled as Queensland Premier from 1968 until 1987, but his tenure is unlikely to ever be repeated.

Federally, the 7 election victories of Robert Menzies (1949, 1951, 1954, 1955, 1958, 1961 and 1963) has never been equalled, although South Australia’s Thomas Playford was Premier for nearly 27 years from November 1938 to March 1965.

Essendon Take Commanding Lead At Half-Time In AFL Grand Final

4.05pm – Essendon has established a convincing lead of 41 points over Melbourne at half-time in the AFL Grand Final. Essendon is 76 points to Melbourne’s 35.

Federal Treasurer Peter Costello is the number one ticket-holder at Essendon, although the club has traditionally boasted of bipartisan political support. Shadow Treasurer Simon Crean is also an Essendon supporter. Former ACTU Secretary Bill Kelty is an avid Bombers fan.

Victorian ALP Sports Minister Justin Madden originally played for Essendon, although he spent the bulk of his football career with the quintessential establishment Liberal team, Carlton.

Former Prime Minister Paul Keating was number one ticket-holder at Collingwood, the archetypal working class and Labor club. Keating is reportedly a millionaire as a result of his business activities since leaving politics in 1996. The Collingwood Football Club president is republican Eddie McGuire, the host of the populist television program “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire”.

Bombers Leading Demons 32-21 At First Quarter Break In AFL Grand Final

3.20pm – Essendon (the Bombers) lead Melbourne (the Demons) at the end of the first quarter of the Australian Football League’s Grand Final being played this afternoon at the Melbourne Cricket Ground.

Essendon last won the Premiership trophy in 1993, as Opposition Leader Kim Beazley pointed out this morning, the same year that Labor’s Paul Keating defeated the coalition conservative parties.

Essendon also won the flag in 1983 and 1984, coincidentally also years of Labor victories in Canberra.

Essendon did not make the final in 1987, although Hawke defeated Howard on his first election outing as Liberal leader. Essendon were runners up in 1990, but Bob Hawke returned to office, defeating Andrew Peacock, the former number one ticket holder at Essendon.


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Malcolm Farnsworth
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