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Satire: Welcome To ReithCard

The controversy over his son’s use of his ministerial phone card in 2000 caused the Howard government minister Peter Reith to be attacked and ridiculed.

Reith was not sacked for the misuse of his phone card but he did repay $50,000.

Reith had been Minister for Workplace Relations since the Howard government took office in 1996. In January 2001, Reith became Minister for Defence. He retired from politics at the 2001 election, although his role in the Children Overboard affair during the election campaign ensured that he remained a controversial figure.

This item circulated by email in late 2000.


Telecommunications has never been easier!

Welcome to REITHCard, an exciting new development in telecommunications.

REITHCard is proudly brought to you in co-operation with our venture partners who have joined us in the vanguard of community service throughout the world.

REITHCard (Responsibility Excused In The House) is an unprecedented offer guaranteed to keep you in touch with loved ones, friends and business colleagues at any time NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE.

But the best feature of REITHCard is the ENORMOUS SAVINGS it offers subscribers.

Here’s how it works:

Each REITHCard has a personal special four-digit PTPT (Pity The Poor Taxpayer) number. By dialling the PTPT number as a prefix to any number you wish to dial throughout the world, you can talk as long and as often as you like – entirely FREE of cost! This incredible deal is made possible through our high volume of Telecoms business which enables us to allocate the cost of the service to a CFPM (Contempt For Public Money) account.

Accounting is easy. There is absolutely NO PAPERWORK! REITHCard takes care of everything – it’s all so easy.

As a special bonus if you accept this offer within 10 days, we will upgrade your REITHCard to UTT category (Up The Taxpayer) enabling you to freely pass the PTPT number on to members of your family, staff, hotel receptionists and even passing taxi drivers. And unlike any other card, REITHCard allows you to make calls on the same PTPT simultaneously from up to twelve different locations around the globe!

To qualify for this special offer you must agree to follow the Prime Minister’s parliamentary Code of Practice. To register for this FREE service, visit our Website at and enter your username. Go to Code of Practice and click “Accept.” There is no need to read the entire document because it is never enforced.

PLUS! If you apply for this outstanding offer within 10 days you also receive at NO COST your choice of one of the following best-sellers:

  • “Altruism in Public Service” by Mal Colston
  • “Don’t Blame Me, It’s Dad’s Idea” by Sophie Gosper
  • “Developing a Better Memory” by Carmen Lawrence
  • “Overcoming Memory Lapses” by Alan Bond
  • “Sad but Never Sorry” by John Howard
  • “How to Retire Wealthy” by Bob Hawke
  • “Bringing Home the Bacon” – recollections of life on the farm by Paul Keating
  • “Going for Gold” by Michael Knight

And there’s more! The first 250 subscribers receive 5,000 bonus FREQUENT-LIAR points with the airline of their choice!!

Call NOW!!!

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Malcolm Farnsworth
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