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Simon Crean: Junkyard Dog, New Teeth And Negotiation Joke

In an interview with Neil Mitchell on Melbourne radio station 3AW, Opposition Leader Simon Crean has been asked about his image as a “snarling junkyard dog” and whether he has had his teeth fixed.

The Federal Opposition Leader has also told a joke…

Extract of Opposition Leader Simon Crean’s interview with 3AW’s Neil Mitchell.

CreanMITCHELL: OK, I know that you need to go. Image – your wife Carole is quoted as saying ‘that the snarling junkyard dog is only part of your image’. Is this your theme song? Bad, bad Leroy Brown, baddest man in the whole darn town. Badder that an old King Kong, meaner than a junkyard dog. Is there a bit of junkyard dog about you?

CREAN: There are two things about the junkyard dog. The junkyard dog is determined and it usually gets what it wants. But I’d like the theme song to be changed to I’m just a boy whose intentions are good, oh Lord please don’t let me be misunderstood, Neil. It may be part of me but it’s a determined part of me. But there is a lot more to me and over the coming months people will find out more about that.

MITCHELL: Have you had your hair fixed?

CREAN: No, it doesn’t look any different to you, does it?

MITCHELL: New teeth?

CREAN: Look, here I was with a chipped tooth. I go to the dentist to get it fixed. There is something wrong with that, is there? Anyway I’m delighted that people are focusing on my appearance. Delighted that they are seeing the smiles and the more they talk about it the better for me.

MITCHELL: Okay, we are going to take calls in a moment. I know you have to go, but I will warn you, we will take calls from people – will Simon Crean make it? Will Simon Crean make it? The image change, the warm, fuzzy, friendly, tell us a joke.

CREAN: Well the great negotiations of all times.

MITCHELL: This isn’t a Bob Hawke joke is it?

CREAN: No, the great negotiations of all time. Moses goes up on the mountain. He has been up there forty days and forty nights negotiating like crazy comes down exhausted. The troops say to him tell us the good news and the bad news. Tell us the news Moses. Moses said there is good news and there is bad news. He said I have negotiated the big fella down from 40 to 10 but adultery is still one of the 10.

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Malcolm Farnsworth
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