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Lateline At Its Best

Tonight’s Lateline program: Tony Jones interviews John Cleese and Eric Idle.

April Fools’ Day At Google And The White House

I admit I didn’t instantly realise it was an April Fools’ Day joke.

Google can score it as a win.

I thought the number of visitors to from the International Space Station Control Room was unusual when I checked the traffic figures on Google Analytics this morning.

The real-time Location Map of visitors to the site said there was 41 of them.

They were in the United States. Later, they had moved to Australia:


By this evening they seemed to be somewhere over the Pacific Ocean:


The White House’s video titled “A Statement From the Briefing Room” was a little easier to pick.


Gillard Announces The End Of The World

Oh dear.

This is a video appearance by Prime Minister Julia Gillard on Triple J’s End of the World Show.

Day 17 – Amusing Ourselves To Defeat

Day 17 of the election campaign centred on the desperate attempt to resuscitate the campaign of Prime Minister Gillard.

But it began with a televised confrontation between Fiona Patten of the Sex Party and Wendy Francis from Family First. Since the “debate” was on Channel 7’s Sunrise program, it necessarily lacked gravitas but contained many loud buzzers to signal the thirty-second time limits.

Patten was out-talked by a more confident Francis and it reminded me of my conversation with Martin Leahy, the Sex Party candidate for the Victorian seat of La Trobe.

I met Leahy at the ballot draw, an arcane ritual complete with tattslotto style cages, numbered balls and blindfolded Electoral Commission staff. A two-stage selection of the numbered balls takes place, the first to allocate numbers to candidates, the second to designate the order of candidates on the ballot paper. [Read more…]

Capitalism Around The Globe

UPDATE – April 9, 2015

The team at WikiMoney have turned ‘Capitalism Around The Globe’ into a graphic. I’ve left the original words-only post at the bottom of the page.

Capitalism Around The World

Okay, it’s not new, but it seemed a good time to recycle it:


– You have two cows.
– You sell one and buy a bull.
– Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
– You sell them and retire on the income.

[Read more…]

Humour In The Financial Crisis

Q: How do you define optimism?
A: A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday.


Q: What’s the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
A: The pizza can feed a family of four.


A stockholder comments on the crisis: “It’s worse than a divorce. I’ve lost half my net worth and I still have a wife.”

Truss Announces Australia-North Pole Air Services Agreement

An air services agreement has been reached between Australia and the North Pole that will allow Santa Claus to fly through Australian airspace on Christmas Eve, according to the Minister for Transport and Regional Services, Warren Truss.

Truss“Rigorous safety checks of Santa’s sleigh and reindeer” have been carried out and the Civil Aviation Safety Authority (CASA) has provided “dispensation allowing the sleigh to fly lower than 1,000 feet over built-up areas.” [Read more…]

A John Howard Joke…

This piece of political humour came via an email. Its origin is unknown.

Whilst not very original or funny, it is recorded here as a political keepsake.

A Moral Dilemma

This is an imaginary situation, but it may be interesting deciding what you would do.

The situation:

You are in the Northwest of WA, and there is a huge flood in progress. Many homes lost, water supplies compromised, and infrastructure destroyed.

Let’s say you’re a photographer out getting still photos for a news service, travelling alone, looking for particularly poignant scenes.

If you were to stumble across John Howard struggling to keep from being swept away in a raging river and you had a choice of rescuing him or getting a Walkley prize-winning photograph of the death of a Prime Minister.

Famous British Sporting Quotes

  1. ‘This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother.’ – Ted Walsh (Horse Racing Commentator)
  2. ‘Moses Kiptanui – the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago.’ – David Coleman
  3. ‘He’s pulling him off! The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off!’ – RTE’s George Hamilton on Spain manager Luis Suarez’s substitution of Butragueno during their world cup qualifier with Ireland in Seville, 1992.
  4. ‘The black players at this club lend the side a lot of skill and flair, but you also need white players in there to balance things up and give the team some brains and some common sense.’ – Crystal Palace chairman Ron Noades, speaking in 1991.
  5. ‘Bill Frindal has done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator’ – John Arlott
  6. ‘I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.’ – Winston Bennett
  7. ‘Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing – but none of them serious.’ – Alan Minter
  8. ‘The racecourse is as level as a billiard ball.’ – John Francombe
  9. ‘If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.’ – Terry Venables
  10. ‘We’ll still be happy if we lose. It’s on at the same time as the Beer Festival.’ – Noel O’ Mahony, Cork City boss before the game in Munich
  11. ‘I would not say he (David Ginola) is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better.’ – Ron Atkinson
  12. ‘He dribbles a lot and the opposition don’t like it – you can see it all over their faces.’ – Ron Atkinson
  13. ‘It took a lot of bottle for Tony (Adams) to own up.’ – Ian Wright (commenting on his teammate’s alcoholism)
  14. ‘Ah, isn’t that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew.’ – Harry Carpenter (BBC TV Boat Race 1977)
  15. ‘Here we are in the Holy Land of Israel – a Mecca for tourists.’ – David Vine
  16. ‘Morcelli has four fastest 1500-metre times ever. And all those times are at 1500 metres.’ – David Coleman
  17. ‘Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field.’ – Metro Radio
  18. ‘….and later we will have action from the men’s cockless pairs …’ – Sue Barker
  19. ‘Her time is about 4.33, which she’s capable of.’ – David Coleman
  20. Dennis Pennis: ‘Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography?’ Chris Eubank: ‘On what ?’
  21. ‘Sex is an anti-climax after that!’ – Grand National winning jockey Mark Fitzgerald. ‘Well, you gave the horse a wonderful ride, everybody saw that.’ – Desmond Lynam
  22. ‘To play Holland, you have to play the Dutch.’ – Ruud Gullit
  23. ‘Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.’ – Ron Atkinson
  24. ‘For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip.’ – John Motson
  25. ‘Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer.’ – David Acfield
  26. ‘What will you do when you leave football, Jack – will you stay in football?’ – Stuart Hall (Radio 5 live)
  27. ‘I’d like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.’ – Mark Draper (Aston Villa)
  28. ‘There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class.’ – David Coleman at The Montreal Olympics
  29. ‘And for those of you who watched the last programme (Fanny and Johnny Craddock), I hope all your doughnuts turn out like Fanny’s.’ – David Coleman at the start of Match of The Day
  30. ‘…and Ray Illingworth is relieving himself in front of the pavilion.’ – John Arlott
  31. ‘These greens are so fast they must bikini wax them.’ – Gary McCord on the greens at Augusta
  32. ‘One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee-shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them – Oh my God, what have I just said?’ – USTV commentator

Iraq Explained

This graphic has been circulating around the Internet in recent weeks.

It may be a recycled version of one originally produced during the Gulf War of 1991.

Iraq Explained