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This website is in imminent danger of being shut down. It has been online since 1995, but the personal circumstances of the owner, Malcolm Farnsworth, are such that economies have to be made. Server costs and suchlike have become prohibitive. At the urging of people online, I have agreed to see if Patreon provides a solution. More information is available at the Patreon website. If you are able to contribute even $1.00/month to keep the site running, please click the Patreon button below.

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A John Howard Joke…

This piece of political humour came via an email. Its origin is unknown.

Whilst not very original or funny, it is recorded here as a political keepsake.

A Moral Dilemma

This is an imaginary situation, but it may be interesting deciding what you would do.

The situation:

You are in the Northwest of WA, and there is a huge flood in progress. Many homes lost, water supplies compromised, and infrastructure destroyed.

Let’s say you’re a photographer out getting still photos for a news service, travelling alone, looking for particularly poignant scenes.

If you were to stumble across John Howard struggling to keep from being swept away in a raging river and you had a choice of rescuing him or getting a Walkley prize-winning photograph of the death of a Prime Minister.

Famous British Sporting Quotes

  1. ‘This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother.’ – Ted Walsh (Horse Racing Commentator)
  2. ‘Moses Kiptanui – the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago.’ – David Coleman
  3. ‘He’s pulling him off! The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off!’ – RTE’s George Hamilton on Spain manager Luis Suarez’s substitution of Butragueno during their world cup qualifier with Ireland in Seville, 1992.
  4. ‘The black players at this club lend the side a lot of skill and flair, but you also need white players in there to balance things up and give the team some brains and some common sense.’ – Crystal Palace chairman Ron Noades, speaking in 1991.
  5. ‘Bill Frindal has done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator’ – John Arlott
  6. ‘I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.’ – Winston Bennett
  7. ‘Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing – but none of them serious.’ – Alan Minter
  8. ‘The racecourse is as level as a billiard ball.’ – John Francombe
  9. ‘If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.’ – Terry Venables
  10. ‘We’ll still be happy if we lose. It’s on at the same time as the Beer Festival.’ – Noel O’ Mahony, Cork City boss before the game in Munich
  11. ‘I would not say he (David Ginola) is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better.’ – Ron Atkinson
  12. ‘He dribbles a lot and the opposition don’t like it – you can see it all over their faces.’ – Ron Atkinson
  13. ‘It took a lot of bottle for Tony (Adams) to own up.’ – Ian Wright (commenting on his teammate’s alcoholism)
  14. ‘Ah, isn’t that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew.’ – Harry Carpenter (BBC TV Boat Race 1977)
  15. ‘Here we are in the Holy Land of Israel – a Mecca for tourists.’ – David Vine
  16. ‘Morcelli has four fastest 1500-metre times ever. And all those times are at 1500 metres.’ – David Coleman
  17. ‘Julian Dicks is everywhere. It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field.’ – Metro Radio
  18. ‘….and later we will have action from the men’s cockless pairs …’ – Sue Barker
  19. ‘Her time is about 4.33, which she’s capable of.’ – David Coleman
  20. Dennis Pennis: ‘Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography?’ Chris Eubank: ‘On what ?’
  21. ‘Sex is an anti-climax after that!’ – Grand National winning jockey Mark Fitzgerald. ‘Well, you gave the horse a wonderful ride, everybody saw that.’ – Desmond Lynam
  22. ‘To play Holland, you have to play the Dutch.’ – Ruud Gullit
  23. ‘Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.’ – Ron Atkinson
  24. ‘For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip.’ – John Motson
  25. ‘Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer.’ – David Acfield
  26. ‘What will you do when you leave football, Jack – will you stay in football?’ – Stuart Hall (Radio 5 live)
  27. ‘I’d like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.’ – Mark Draper (Aston Villa)
  28. ‘There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class.’ – David Coleman at The Montreal Olympics
  29. ‘And for those of you who watched the last programme (Fanny and Johnny Craddock), I hope all your doughnuts turn out like Fanny’s.’ – David Coleman at the start of Match of The Day
  30. ‘…and Ray Illingworth is relieving himself in front of the pavilion.’ – John Arlott
  31. ‘These greens are so fast they must bikini wax them.’ – Gary McCord on the greens at Augusta
  32. ‘One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee-shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them – Oh my God, what have I just said?’ – USTV commentator

Iraq Explained

This graphic has been circulating around the Internet in recent weeks.

It may be a recycled version of one originally produced during the Gulf War of 1991.

Iraq Explained

Giving Your All

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%.

How about achieving 103%? Here’s a little maths that might prove helpful: [Read more…]

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

I don’t care why the chicken crossed the road. It should be sent back to where it came from. Who knows what might happen if we keep letting any old chicken cross the road. We could be inundated with them. Send them to the farmer up the road a bit and we can pay him to deal with the problem.

If the chicken did cross the road it should have been fitted with an e-tag and should pay the same toll as all other road users. [Read more…]

Humour: Types Of Capitalism

It’s not new, but still amusing, even if somewhat politically incorrect. [Read more…]

The Darwin Awards

It’s not political, but it’s been circulating around the Internet in recent days…

The Darwin Awards, according to the Internet.

It’s that time again . . . . . They are finally out again.

You all know about the Darwin Awards – It’s an annual honor given to the person who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way. [Read more…]